who cares ....

Ok ..... so 

I have come to a point in my life, 

where I am looking back at the people in my life,

and I say it like that cause I think that many of the people I have known 

are just that! "People ", they are not close friends, most  don't call to 

say "hello " or even just drop a line to see if things are going well,

or if there is anything going on that I may need help with ...

I have no siblings, so I think of my friends as family, 

but sometimes I feel like no one else cares. 

I feel like I have done something to push people away, 

but I don't know what......

Less then Perfect .....

   So , I was sitting in my mess the other day  listening to music , and I found it funny how sometimes just the right song speaks volumes .... It made me wonder if i could change anything  what would it be and why ???  Who would have made me push for what i wanted . Sometime i feel like this is not the real me , like i lost myself alone the way , so now what ???  I think that is why i drag my feet  cause they are still looking for the right path .... 

I AM SO OVER IT !!

 Have you ever h ad that day when it feels like you are just hanging on to thing that you really don't need just  because they belong to you ? The other  day I was in my mess i call my garage , going through thing that i keep cause i say i need them ......   but i moved out of my old place 2 years ago , and i hadn't used them yet so i said forget it i am over it , I should just get rid of it  and  plan to  make a space where i can be creative and do something i enjoy instead of   complaining about the mess  and wasted space it takes up ! I was thinking YARD SALE  or maybe just give it to a church or something ..... but where to start is still the main  question ? and what to make room  for ....

 now till then ...

what to do ???

                 I don't want to be that person who just goes through life in a fog , never finding her place ! I truly have lost myself , I don't know where to begin ? I need to find a place to start..... I don't like to have to ask  for anything. and I don't like to have to wait for someone to offer something either.  What should i do , where should i begin ?? Most people say to look inside yourself and  begin there , but for me that is too big of an obstacle to tackle ! I am a major mess ! literally i don't have the money or space to have a place for everything , and everything in its place but i refuse to get rid of things just cause they don't have a place , but then that causes problems with my family cause everything is always a mess . I start so many projects and nothing ever gets finished there is just not enough space to put my projects , books ,tools, whatever sparks my attention  that day , week !!  I know everyone wants to be something great, i want to be a to many thing and don't have the space to contain them !! HELP !!

WHERE TO START , AND WHY SHOULD WE DO IT !!

 So just like so many others , there are so many things in life i want to do .... so many things i wish i could change . but the bigger question is where do we begin ? How do we chose what needs to be dont first ? I  sometimes think , should i start with what will be the quickest to achive , or the one that wll have the most  to gain from . How can we make the best choice . I want to help myself  , and in someways i feel like a big kid , cause i dont want to take that step forward.I dont know where to start ... what should we do to take that big jump? if i make my self happy or help out someone else ? what makes for a better deal !!how can i get back the happiness i am so weak to fight for !  flip a coin or just go for it ??

??? Lost ???

Some days i wonder:

 what I am supposes  to do here in this life ?

What have I been in past lives ?

Do we just keep repeating things over and over again ??

I feel like i need to do more , but i am not sure what ?

i enjoy doing so many thing , some more then others,

but how do we make a choice on what we do best ?

 and why do we have to choose at all?

 I want to do so many thing ,

 yet i am only half as good at most 

 or not educated enough in others !

where do we draw the line , or how do we gain the know how to

get things don't when you don't have all the resources to accomplish it ?

how and when should you choose to give up ??

And when should we just bite the bullet and strive  forward !!

WHEN WE FEEL LIKE WE LOST OUR WAY , HOW DO WE FIND THE RIGHT PATH

I may not be the smartest person ,

i was not the most popular , or even the most liked .

I am an only child ,

who always got her way ,

and  always though I knew what life was gonna

have in store for me !

I was thee " SONG BIRD "

always singing and carring on, that was me the only thing I 

ever wanted to do was make people smile ,

but things changed and now I feel like a lost  soul

tryin' to find , what ever it is that I'm missing .

So when we feel like we lost our way ,

how do we find the right path !!